Age

I feel old, a lot, when wandering the streets of BA. Not truly old - but I feel my age. There are so very many school kids running the streets, young lovers kissing on the park benches, etc. It's an odd feeling. Mostly I feel tired, and pressured and a little bit out of place. It adds up.

I used to say "I don't think I'll ever feel like an adult". And it was true, "adult" just seemed like a silly term, although I did think it likely that something traumatic, like have a kid, might change my perspective. But that didn't happen. Instead I just ignored the issue, didn't think of things in those terms for a number of years. I lost the existential angst, didn't worry about my place in the world. And then one day I'm thinking of 20 year old kissing on the benches as "kids". And of course I'm an adult - it's still a stupid term, but it does have meaning, and I've clearly been with in the bounds of that meaning for years.

I think it's time to start watching out for signs of angst :)

Add your comments